Winter Solstice

Closing doors and going inside.

I’ve been living and learning. Seeing my light and making peace with my darkness. Writing and crying and laughing about all the things that happened in the last year.

Now the days are so dark, I feel they match that hidden part of my heart that I won’t share with anyone.

But from that darkness comes the light. In Kabbalah, moments of darkness are the ones in which you create light. Like an alchemist or an artist, who transforms pain into art.

I’m aware this was a very hard year for all of us. Personally and collectively. We experienced lots of unexpected changes that transformed us from the inside, making us aware that the only certain thing we possess is ourselves. And it made me think that during that metamorphosis, we knocked on many doors — some of them opened, and some of them didn’t.

And now it is time to make peace with that. I know it feels like a never-ending quest: to keep healing, to make an effort to be better, to accept what we can’t change, and to be grateful for what we have and who we are. BUT can we just rest?

A friend told me that “sometimes closing doors is more important than opening new ones,” and now, in winter, when we are obligated to stay indoors, I think it is the best time for that.

I’m starting to like winter because it MAKES us go inside. It’s tooooo fucking cold outside that we need to make peace with ourselves and stop running around — finding a cozy room to sit with our demons and sip some warm wine.

Light ALL the candles you can tonight. We are making an altar and drinking wine with our inner demons, maybe they are actually nice.

We already made a long New Moon Ritual, and I thought it would be nice to close some doors, so the cozy feeling can stay inside of us. Go back to what you wrote before and remember what you want to do with your light.

The idea is to do some free solo writing. Of course, I’m going to give you some prompts, but I would love it if you do it your way :)))))

Start a new page of your diary or journal and write down:

During this year, I saw my darkness. It made me feel…

Now try to see which of those topics you can start to close. And write down:

Today I’m closing old doors of…

Keep writing for as long as you want. Then, when you finish, burn the paper and blow out your candles.

Imagine your energy as a spiral, going from darkness to light.

Stay still for a few minutes.

*Go and see the stars — try to find Orion’s Belt in the sky tonight.

Besos y versos,

Rennaacer 💘